By: Danny Nolan
If you’re like me and sometimes consider yourself TRASH, here are 12 easy simple ways to be less like trash and save the environment, all while convincing your honey bunny you have your life together (even if you actually don’t).
- WALK PLACES. TONE THAT BOOTY. Did you know walking helps you maintain a positive outlook and can make you look and feel younger? It’ll also reduce pollution! So if you’re a senior like me and feel excruciatingly old, start walking and all your wrinkles will disappear!
- Take shorter showers. The less time you spend in the shower, the more time you get to spend seeing your special someone AND the more money you save on your bills. You can use that extra time to be productive and do work so you have even MORE time to see that special someone.
- Or shower together and save even more water!
- Do you ever see those people on campus with a reusable bottle and instantly envy how they have their life together and you don’t? ME TOO. Buy a chic reusable bottle or tumbler! Humans buy about 1,000,000 plastic bottles per minute in total. Only about 23% of plastic bottles are recycled. That’s INSANE, right? Showing your Aphrodite that you love the planet AND that you’re a productive human being by using a reusable container? Easy peazy lemon squeezie.
- If you’re also like me and randomly wake up at 7:00 a.m. or 9:00 a.m. after a night out, go to the Oxford Farmer’s Market on your way home on your walk of fame. No, you won’t look like garbage. You’ll look like the world’s saving grace by shopping organically and locally. The farmers market has the city’s best hummus, baked goods and produce every Saturday from 8:00 a.m. to noon.
Check out their website here.
- Turn the lights off. If you don’t want to look at their face while you’re getting frisky, do yourself and the planet a favor by turning the lights off. Cornell started to encourage students to reduce their light consumption after it calculated in 2010 that the university could save up to $60,000 per year by simply turning off the lights that are not in use.
- Going to the bars and want to impress that person you’ve been eying forever? Instead of going to Kenwood or shoping online, check out Oxford’s Goodwill for all your wardrobe needs. You never know what you might find. More than 86 cents of every dollar earned by Goodwill supports its life-changing mission. So you’re not only helping the planet, you’re helping those in need too!
- OR ask a friend to borrow something for FREE! Yay for saving money!
- Don’t wash your heavier duty clothes after one short use. Most likely, your jeans conform to your body shape and silhouette the more you wear them without washing them, and that precious someone will appreciate the view. Re-wearing clothes reduces waste and pollution.
- Does your SO or FWB always have to use the bathroom when they come over? Impress them and convince them AGAIN you have your life together with a reusable soap dispenser. No more plastic one time use containers. Buy a sturdy soap dispenser and cloth towels.
- Donate clothes you don’t wear! Ask your friends if they want to go shopping in your closet. THEY’LL LOVE YOU. Take whatever you don’t want to Goodwill, and your little honey bunches will look up to you and admire you even more for doing this.
- RECYCLE. RECYCLE. RECYCLE. Clean up your desk and all your crap so your one night stand will want to come back and be a two or three night stand! The EPA estimates that 75% of the American waste stream is recyclable, but we only recycle about 30% of it. Clean up and recycle.
My mood whenever I go to someone’s place and it’s MESSY or when I see something that’s recyclable and it’s in the TRASH.
Thanks for reading. Stay sustainable!
Images via Giphy and Pixabay.